Fragile

I hate myself when i am at fragile mode..it’s so sick..and so depressing..i can’t think positively about other people’s thought, and will end up having ‘terasa hati’ all day long…Though i know my best friend is only Allah, but when i face this kinda feeling makes me feel Allah don’t love me anymore, so He show His anger by showing that no one love me…Feeling Alone though i am surrounded by lots of people…And this feeling is not good. You must have good thoughts for Allah…must not have that way of thinking..ok..hate myself mode..;(

Stase Kecantikan

Assalamualaikum..

fuh fuh…tiup sket habuk dan sesawang kat blog ni…ada salji lagi..mmg nampak sangat  tak bersentuh..Dah bersentuh, tp blurr plak nak taip dari mana dulu..hehe..meh saya cerita saya di Stase Kecantikan. Sebenarnya nama department yang saya masuk ni bukan nama dia Stase KEcantikan, tapi nama dia DermatoVenereology. Ok. Stase ni memang semua pasal Kulit dan Kelamin la. Huhu. Ingat orang belajar Dermatology tu pasal kulit kat muka je..kat ‘situ situ’ pon kena okeh…Adapun aku rasa stase ni diberi nama Stase kecantikan, sebab mungkin banyak residen dia cantik2 dan licin halus mulus kulit diorang. Bak kata kawan saya, “Fuh, memang benar2 terawat semua” hahah..ok of course la itu lelaki yang cakap.hahaha.

Walaupun sebenarnya ramai yang kata Stase saya santai (read:relax), tapi pada saya tak pon. Siapa la cakap tu. Nampak sangat patho. Rasanya hampir setiap hari saya pulang jam 3-4 petang. Semalam lagi la, dekat pukul 5 kot baru balik.Sebab, ada ilmiah la, Semalam ada workshop Kusta. huhu. Dan setiap hari lunch pada pukul 3-4 petang..MEmang sangap jadi dinner skali la tu maksudnya. huhuhu. Tapi tak kurang pon berat badan. Hampeh. Dah la tengah bet dengan Karte ni. Tak boleh jadi Tak boleh jadi. Dah ada orang nak belanja Rempah Asia free, kena gak menang bet ni.hahahaha…ok insentif je.hehe..Untuk memenuhi syarat ujian, kena cari 8 kes di Sardjito, dan 40 kes di rumah sakit perifer. Ok, amat tak best ok nak memenuhi syarat2 ni, sebab 1) Setiap kes, harus ada konsulen yang cek sama pasien tu which is susah giler, sebab konsulen tak de..Dah tau bizi, tak yah la jadik konsulen. Menyusahkan orang 2) Setiap hari kitorang hanya MAKSIMAL boleh ambil 2 kes je, walaupun ada berpuluh puluh puluh puluh kes kat Sardjito tu boleh ambil 2 JEEEE..ok itu amat la sangap..3) Memandangkan kitorg hanya minggu pertama, maka pengambilan kes hanya boleh dibuat pada hari ketiga kitorg di poliklinik, sebab kitorg nyer jadual kat poliklinik minggu ni. Dan for u guys information, kitorang hanya seminggu di poliklinik and a week means 6 days…..helloooo…..maximal 2 cases a day..gosh…u do the maths. 4)kitorang di bulan yang x bernasib baik sket la, sebab 2 minggu ke depan saya akan ke luar kota, yang bererti, dari 6 working days, 4 days at luar kota and the next 2 will be at Sardjito, akan tetapi…memandangkan hari jumat depan adalah cuti, sebab awal muharam..Maka kami hanya akan dapat ambil kes pada hari Sabtu je…ok????Sabtu je, sebab the next week tu krismes, so Cuti Jumat Sabtu, and kitorg x de chance langsung nak jejak poliklinik..Xde ok Xde…Sebab next week nyer satu lagi tu kitorg kat Stase Bangsal..Hangin tak hangin tak?????…..Ko nak suruh kitorg extend ke ape…Sistem kebijakan sape la ni….Tak bijok langsung…Nak je aku kasik Bengkel Siri KEbijakan UPSR untuk diorg…Sungguh *ttoooott*..Anyway close case..malas nak memikirkan whatever will be will be..I am so stressed out thinking of this…

Anywayyy..well the past few days were so hectic, to adapt with systems, the group conflict that is getting worst and worst, the busy drs that we can’t consult with..And lots more..Heck…We still lucky to get funny dr as our pembimbing klinik. Ok la, the initial is Dr A.hehe..She is so petite and cute..And some says she is so scary…haha..but at the same time klakar..hahaha..ok  how about this..Imagine fierce face when conducting tutorial, and at the same time funny when friend was answering her questions.

Friend: Jadi, yang dinamakan bakteria utuh it yang ada daya…

Dr.A: Daya??!!! Maha Daya Cinta *singing while shaking her body a  bit*..

Damn klakar ok..I was giggling badly..Then, on yesterday..

Me: Jadi, kita harus anamnesis (read: history taking)  pasien dan menanyakan, apakah di lingkungan bapak ada yang sakit serupa? (read:sakit yang sama)

Dr.A: Serupa siapa??Ikut rupa bapaknya??

Me: ehehee….*dang*…

Haha..overall, i can’t say DV is a relax department as it is never looked like one to me…The diagnosis are difficult to make, lots of work to do..And I HATE conflictssss….it so ruining my dayss..As for now..Chow people..I’ll update later about me went rafting last week…Yeayy…

Luar Biasa!!

Today I had to assist 2 operations. Setting up the instruments for monitoring had went well this past few days..Pheww, we had to be fast learner though. Still I haven’t had the chance to intubate the patient. To  intubate a patient is a must for me. It is a compulsary skill. huhuhu. After all, for the whole last week, I only had 1 patient to intubate, and for the first timer like me, the chance can’t be  given to us and  what more, when it was my first day at anesthesi. I think now I am more immune to the crankiness of the anesthesist. Since they were also tired and having slow learner like me is sure a frustration…hahaha..padan muka . Well now not anymore I will say. I can adapt with their systems and crankiness. Not all of them I will say. No offense, but from my observation, usually the female Drs are more cranky than the male Drs.

Oh back to the story of Luar Biasa.. I had this one patient today, Male,35 who is so friendly and very positive thinking. He had Clavicula Fracture Sinistra, where he got regional analgesic. Since we had Anesthesi Workshop today, so lots of doctor from peripheral hospitals came by to see our Dr performing the regional analgesic. The Analgesic took place at spine c7-c8. The Anesthesist is so amazing. He did it like eating candies. Seriously. So this patient had been told that he will be the ‘bahan belajar’ and he didn’t  complain even a word. He still can had a chat with us right before entering the operation theatre, and  gave sparkling smiles..=p. HAha, and when the Dr insert the needle at his backbone, he still can smile..Eventhough, Swear to God, memang sakit giler la kot…Imagine how positive thinking he is..X de nak merungut2 x jelas. Residen anestesi je yang merungut2 sampai surgeon pon terdiam tengok perangai macam ape je.huhuhu..

Anyway. All the peripheral Drs were stunned by the great work done by the Anesthesist. I purposely dont mention his name, since he is quite popular, and afraid he will read my blog…..hahaha…ok perasan..=p..After couple of hours of surgery, the patient woke up and said “Luar Biasa”..hahaha.. I was laughing, because I think it was a cute statement. None of the patient I heard after leaving the operation theater said that. No one. Nada. Null..huhu. And then this patient was brought to the PACU (Post Anesthesi Care Unit) where he had to be monitored to observe if there are any unwanted side effects from the drugs used. And he did complain about the blurriness of his eye, and when the Dr showed him 2 fingers and asked how many were they, he said 2, which was the correct answer.Meaning he still can see, but only the side effects of the drug made the vision not so clear. Hahaha. But one of the resident told him” Tu bukan 2, itu 5 la” then the patient cleverly answered ”Oh 5 kaligrafi ya Doc?..hahha”  hahaha..cute answer  ok..hahaha..ok lah..dah brape kali tah gune perkataan cute.hahaha..

Now I’m hoping tomorrow I get the chance to intubate the patient. Please pray for me ya.hehehe=)

Anestesi anestesi anestesi ==>stress???

knape eh..Rasa x best je masuk anestesi ni..huhu..Tak sesuai dengan jiwa kot..uhuhu..Tak macam stase pediatric. Berat macamane pon, saya  rase saya masih boleh bertahan lagi. Serius Rasa tak tenang jiwa. Erm, sebab residen??Mungkin kot. Tapi saya  rasa lebih kepada faktor dalaman saya sendiri. Mungkin Medic bukan untuk saya? Atau mungkin inilah dugaan nya kalau saya ambil Medic. Allah .Tuhan aja yang tahu. Tergerak juga hati ni nak pergi jumpa Specialist. Specialist apa tapinya?? Neuro..?Jiwa?? Psychology?? huhu..

Tapi dalam hal2 macam ni hanya satu sahaja solusi terbaik buat saya.Solat..Zikir. Sungguh berkesan dan menenangkan jiwa. Percayalah. Satu kekuatan dan solusi dari arah yang tidak disangka2 pasti datang dan di waktu yang paling tepat. Tersengguk dalam sujud tadi, mohon diberi pengampunan dan terasa kerdil, sebab masalah kecil bagi orang lain terkadang rasa terlalu besar buat saya. Allah knows what’s best for us so why should we complain..Teringat poem ni masa kat sekolah dulu. Oklah ni saya sertakan the whole poem. It is a really good poem motivation

God Knows Best”

Our Allah knows what’s best for us,
So why should we complain …
We always want the sunshine,
But He knows there must be rain.

We love the sound of laughter
And the merriment of cheer;
But our hearts would lose their tenderness
If we never shed a tear.

Our Allah tests us often
With suffering and with sorrow;
He tests us, not to punish us,
But to help us meet “tomorrow.”

For growing trees are strengthened
When they withstand the storm;
And the sharp cut of the chisel
Gives the marble grace and form.

Allah never hurts us needlessly,
And He never wastes our pain;
For every loss He sends to us
Is followed by rich gain.

And when we count the blessings
That Allah has so freely sent;
We will find no cause for murmuring
And no time to lament.

Apekah??!!

Tadi saya google nama2 orang saya nak stalk..tetiba rasa nak stalk diri sendiri..hahaha..apakah..dan saya bukak la alumni UGM ( U saya la tu) dan nama saya tertera di laman tersebut..tiba2 jadik sentap..Alamat: IBM Malaysia Sdn Bhd??????? Apekah weyyy…Aku rasa dah naik krem tangan aku ni asyik tulis alamat kat Sekretariat tu. Tiap kali hantar visa, tiap kali nak identiti pelajar. Tiap kali dan setiap kali dia mintak mesti aku bagi alamat rumah..Ape kes letak alamat pejabat MAk aku..Ko ingt aku ada penthouse ke ape kat roof top building IBM tu. Wallaweyy…Dah siap dekat buku alumni pon letak alamat pejabat mak aku…Yang aku pelik apsal aku sorang je yang kena…Hilang akal betul la…huhuhu..Habis lah kalo korang tak tau nak carik alamat aku 10 taun akan datang..jgn Salahkan aku eh..hehehe..Seb baik ada fesbuk. Dapat la contact semua long distance relationship friends..=)

alumni

Ge Ge Ge Gelabah…

Semalam saya gelabah giler..Sebab saya entah apa yang merasuk fikiran amatlah terlupa nak membuat temujanji dengan penguji (examiner) saya untuk ujian Saraf (read: neuro)..Kegelabahan bermula malam tadi apabila kawan saya bertanya

BFF : “Weh, ko ujian biler?”

Minah sengal :(slumber je saya jawab )”Lom ah, aku x jumpe pon lagi penguji aku”.

BFF: kawan saya terkzut..oh ok lebai..dia hanya sms, tp saya rasa dia terkezut la kot tatkala saya berkata ” Weh, ko ni..Ko kan dah siap sumer tutorial segala, apsal ko x jumpe die lagi..Esok ko kena gak jumpa dia wat temujanji..Takut nanti diorang marah2 kalo tak jumpa..”

Minah sengal: Iya Iya..padahal dalam hati (huarghhh..dodol dodol dodol..)

Saya..” T_____T”.. Segala perbualan dah ditranslate dalam bahasa Malaysia..sekian) Dang. Giler gelabah masa tu..Padahal semalam the whole day memang saya free je. Ada di Poliklinik Saraf. Dah terang2 memang aku sorang je kelompok aku yang masih ada kat situ terkial2 belajar periksa pasien..Dodol giler tak hengat punya…Rasa nak wachaaa pale otak ni apsal lembab sangat pick up..huhuhu..Dan akhirnya setelah hari ni jumpe ternyata dr.AA yang amat terlalu baik hati x de pon nak bebel2 apsal aku x jumpe die smlm..Bila tanya dia “Doc kapan(bila) ujian saya??” Dr AA jawab ” Ya kapan2(bila-bila) yang kamu mau”…Dalam hati seperti ingin bertarakuca x hengat punya goyang badan goyang kaki, sebab aku memang nak kasi khatam dulu itu buku Neuro…hahahahahahhaha…Sekarang hati gumbiraaa…lithapmonkey

hati gumbira..wahahaha..

Akhirnya…

Akhirnya, selepas 3 minggu di Saraf berhempas pulas jaga dan belajar dan segala macam, hari ini secara rasminya saya cuti di hujung mingguuuuuuu…yeayyyyyy…haha..pathetic tak?..penat ok x de cuti di hujung minggu..dan selama 3 minggu ok…mmg azab la..Dan hari ini, seperti telah di plan saya, kemas bilik sepenuh hati, basuh baju (tunggu giliran..lom sempat lagi..kesian mesin basuh..semput dia)..study sebab minggu depan examm…main farmville..(haha..ini hari2 pon main)…Masak breakfast iaitu mihun, yang diidam2kan sekian lama..=))

Ok, nak cerita, Raya Haji ni saya tak balik……….huhuhu…..sedih gak la..Ada instinct macam kena masak rendang lagi je..Hopefully UPIMI x panggil aku masak2..haha..opss hopefully AJK x baca entry ni..haha..malas la tahun ni..Penat tahun lepas pon tak hilang lagi masak 4 ekor kambeng ngan sekor lembu..ambik kau..hahaha..Alhamdulillah masa balik hari tu, dapat rasa rendang nenek yg saya makan sekali stahun je..Iye la, dah jarang dapat balik kampung sekarang..Waktu balik kampung hari tu rasa sedih dan rasa terharu dengan atuk ngan nenek…Mungkin sebab atuk dan nenek banyak kasi tips menghadapi realiti kehidupan..Lain je rasa semenjak akhir2 ni kalau borak ngan atok ngan nenek..Atok is the greatest granpa ever alive, and nenek the most amazing nenek ever alive..ok..jgn nanges2..sedut balik air mata..Ok tak mau criter sdih2 sebagai penutup malam ni…

Oh, hari ini, akhirnya saya berjaya menggunakan microwave untuk msak kek yang amat saya idamkan semenjak dari Darjah 4..Kek itu amat sedap..Ala, kek instant je…Tp sedap la juga.hehe…Tak sesuai nak buat menantu betol la budak ni, ada ke masak kek instant..hahaha..pedulik apa..wekkk..Siap boleh jadi mcm marble kek saya buat..haha..Kemudian, ke Rempah Asia dengan groupmates..Makan Nasik Tomato weyyy…hahaha..ngan Air Sirap Limau…Posto posto..saya takkan balik Msia smpi bulan 6 tahun depan..lama tak???huhu..tapi rasanya kalau saya homesick sangat, saya balik kot..hehehe..=p

Ok dokie..that’s enuff for the story of my weekend..I was hoping of watching movies, but ended up nailing myself on study table and read neuro bookss..by nay mean…booksss…uhuhu..till then..=)